|"All About My Brother"|
|Season 1, Episode 16|
|Air date||May 5, 2008|
|Written by||Paul Sciarrotta|
|Directed by||Janice Cooke|
"Desperately Seeking Serena"
"Woman on the Verge"
Summary EditBlair and Jenny's power struggle continues when each of them start spreading scandalous rumors about each other on Gossip Girl. Dan sees Jenny's new beau, Asher, cheating on her, but Jenny doesn't believe him. Rufus goes to Lily for advice on how to handle Jenny's new behavior. Serena tries to confront Georgina, but she leaves before Serena has a chance. After this Serena says that she and Georgina are not friends.
Memorable Quotes Edit
- Blair: I'll have Dorota BlackBerry everyone with an itinerary.
- Hazel: It's kinda hard to party after the gay bomb drops.
- Gossip Girl: This just in, Asher Hornsby has been spotted locking lips before class, but not with his girlfriend. Looks like gentlemen don't prefer blondes, Little J., they prefer other gentlemen. Is this just another round of blanks fired between B. and Little J.? I'm tired of being the bearer of bad grudges. This is the last item that goes to press without proof.
- Gossip Girl: Don't worry, Little J., the sun'll come out tomorrow, even though your boyfriend did today.
- Lily: I'm scared. I'm not as tough as it is, you know?
- Gossip Girl: Spotted: Jenny Humphrey wading in the Met fountain fishing for change. Blair Waldorf seen dallying with an off-duty doorman at the Blarney Stone on a Monday night. It looks like the battle between the Queen B. and Little J. has moved from the streets to the blogs. Who's sending this debasing dish? I have a feeling...
- Jenny: (to Eric) Oh my God, wait, do you have a crush on me or something? Don't be embarrassed, it's totally understandable, and not that unexpected actually. I'm flattered, it's just, my heart belongs to Asher. I've gotta go, but text me, okay? [kisses Eric on the cheek]
- Vanessa: (about Jenny) Give her a break, Asher is her first love.
- Dan: It's infatuation, it's not love.
- Georgina [as Sarah]: Yeah, but to a 15-year-old girl, I mean, there really isn't much of a difference.
- Serena: Salud, Chuck! Yes, I'm still fine. I haven't heard from Georgina in two weeks, so if you'd stop calling me I'd finally be rid of all of my monsters. Bye.
- Eric [to Asher]: Why would I stand here if front of everyone we know and tell them if it wasn't true? I'm gay, and so are you.
- Lily [to Serena]: Where do you think you're going?
- Serena: I can't talk right now Mom, I'll explain later.
- Lily: If you invite an old friend to our quiet family dinner, I expect you to stay and eat. [Georgina walks in the room] You know how I'd always love it when Georgina came around.
- Georgina: I ran into Lily in the lobby. You totally forgot to tell Lily I was coming for dinner. [Serena and Georgina have an awkward friendly hello kiss] Did you get my present? [Georgina grins while Serena fakes a smile]
- Georgina: I mean there must be love in the New York air. You're engaged, Serena's found a new guy, Eric's found himself a boyfriend...
- [Lily, Serena and Eric all are shocked by what Georgina said]
- Eric: Excuse me?
- Lily: [a bit confused] Oh, I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right?
- Georgina: What, you haven't met Serena's new guy?
- Lily: Uh, boyfriend?
- Georgina: Oh, you mean Eric? You didn't know he was dating someone? I didn't think it was a secret, I mean, I saw them kissing in front of St Jude's this morning for the world to see. [Eric looks uncomfortable while Georgina gladly reveals the secret] Well, don't look so embarassed, E, he is a hot piece. Well done!
- Serena: Please, Georgina, it's not funny, okay?
- Georgina: Oh! Um, you didn't know Eric was dating a boy?
- Lily: That doesn't make any sense because that would mean... that Erik is... and he's not, [sighs uncomfortably] he's just not. [Eric doesn't have anything to say] Are you? [realizes that Georgina was telling the truth] God... [Eric sees how disappointed Lily is and runs off]
- Serena: Eric! [sighs] Great, Mom, that's just great. [looks at Georgina] How dare you! [Georgina looks as if she has done nothing wrong]
- Asher [to Jenny]: Do you really think that someone like me would date someone like you, Jenny from Brooklyn?
- Eric: I mean, people thought that I was Gossip Girl.
- Serena: [laughs] You have to admit, it made sense at the time.
- Dan: How are you always so right?
- Serena: It's easy when you're always wrong.
- Blair: My, my. If it isn't Little J, risen from the ashes.
- Jenny: I came to tell you in person. You win.
- Blair: Oh, sweetie, we just started to play.
- Jenny: No, you don't understand. I'm done. With you, with them, all of it.
- Blair: Just like that, you wave the white flag.
- Jenny: I lied, and I stole and I lost the respect of my family. For what, so I can be like you? You asked me before if it was all worth it. And my answer is, it's not.
- Blair: I tried to warn you. There's a price to pay. I always knew a girl like you couldn't afford it.
- Jenny: Well, you were right.
- Blair: [sighs] Well, you put up a good fight. For a freshman.
- Jenny: Thanks.
- Blair: Hope you don't expect a hug.
- Jenny: I don't expect anything anymore.
- Gossip Girl: You know, it's kind of funny, how you can find meaning from things you wouldn't think to look at. Like on a TV show, the truth always comes out, it's one of the fundamental rules of time. And when it comes out it can set you free, or end everything you've fought so hard for. Another way the truth comes out, when you don't even mean it to, or when, without saying a word, it's still heard loud and clear. But the worst thing the truth can do? Is when you finally tell it, it doesn't set you free... but locks you away forever.
- Serena: Blair?
- Blair: Serena, what are you doing here? It's late. [Serena starts crying] Oh, my God. What's happened? What's wrong? Talk to me.
- Serena: I can't.
- Blair: Of course you can.
- Serena: No. No, B, this is the one thing I can't tell you. I can't tell anyone.
- Blair: I'm not anyone, I'm me. You can tell me anything.
- Serena: No I can't. Because then that would make you a part of it, and you can't be a part of this.
- Blair: What are you talking about? You're starting to scare me. Hey, hey, hey. We're sisters. You're my family. What is you, is me. There's nothing you could ever say to make me let go. I love you. What is it?
- Serena: (stares at her for a moment, tears in her eyes) I killed someone. [Blair looks at her in shock]
Dramatis Personae Edit
- Taylor Momsen as Jenny Humphrey
- Kristen Bell as Gossip Girl
- Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen
- Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey
- Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey
- Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
- Jessica Szohr as Vanessa Abrams
- Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass
- Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald
- Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
Special Guest Stars Edit
- Yin Chang as Nelly Yuki
- Dreama Walker as Hazel Williams
- Jesse Swenson as Asher Hornsby
Recurring Stars Edit
- Michelle Trachtenberg as Georgina Sparks
- Connor Paolo as Eric van der Woodsen
- Nicole Fiscella as Isabel Coates
- Amanda Setton as Penelope Shafai
- "Good To Be Alive" by Joey Sykes
- "Cheap & Cheerful" by The Kills
- "Sonata for Violin and Piano No. 5 in F Major, Op. 24 - "Spring": I. Allegro" by Beethoven
- "Say (All I Need)" by OneRepublic
- "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven
- "U.R.A. Fever" by The Kills
- "Shut Up & Let Me Go" by The Ting Tings