|"All About My Brother"|
|Season 1, Episode 16|
|Air date||May 5, 2008|
|Written by||Paul Sciarrotta|
|Directed by||Janice Cooke|
"Desperately Seeking Serena"
"Woman on the Verge"
"Sometimes, in an effort to spread the most outrageous rumours, we look over the very thing that's even more scandalous—the truth. And the only thing more shocking than the truth are the lies people tell to cover it up." - Gossip Girl
Georgina informs Serena that she is prepared to reveal damaging information from Serena's past, but no one is prepared for what Georgina does next. Blair and Jenny escalate their "popularity war" by spreading scandalous rumours about each other through Gossip Girl. Dan witnesses Jenny's new boyfriend, Asher, cheating with another boy who we find out to be Eric, Serena's brother, but Jenny refuses to listen to her brother's warning. Rufus goes to Lily for advice on how to handle Jenny's recent out-of-character behaviour.
Memorable Quotes Edit
Serena: Hey, why the long face? Are you still sad that Mom wouldn't let you go to Monte Carlo for the bachelor party?
Eric: No, I'm fine. I figured I'd let Bart, Chuck and Prince Albert have their fun.... No, that didn't come out like I meant it. Gossip Girl. Looks like Jenny's been spotted at Gap sewing Stella McCartney labels onto pocket tees.
Serena: These rumours are getting to be ridiculous.
Eric: Oh, like the one where I'm Gossip Girl?
Serena: Hey, it made sense at the time. You have to admit, it did.
Dan: I saw you, you know. I saw you kissing that guy.
Asher: You've got the wrong person.
Dan: C'mon man, I don't think I do.
Asher: Are you calling me queer?
Dan: That's not at all what I said.
Asher: Do you wanna know how "queer" I am? I'm so queer I'm gonna pop your sister's cherry tonight.
Serena: It's a snub from one party, B. What's the big deal anyway? You didn't even like Asher.
Blair: I didn't like last season’s Louis Vuitton patchwork bag either but that doesn't mean I want to see it all over town on Jenny Humphrey’s arm.
Serena: What's wrong? You look stressed, even for you.
Dan: I'm still worried about Jenny
Blair: You mean because she's self-obsessed, self-serving, self-centered, self-
Dan: No. no. Ah, I wish it was about her— her self. But it's more about who she's with. I can't get through to her. I tried and she just completely blew me off. And she dissed my pants.
Blair: Maybe I underestimated her.
Serena: She's just going through a phase. We all went through it. And apparently some of us are still in it.
Blair: All that matters to someone like Jenny right now are the four G's: guys, girlfriends and Gossip Girl.
Serena: It's true. Don't feel bad. Unless it's coming from one of them she's not going to hear it.
Lily (to Rufus): If Serena's indiscretions were as PG as Jenny's I wouldn't have needed the Botox.
Gossip Girl: This just in: Asher Hornsby spotted locking lips before class, but not with his girlfriend. Looks like gentlemen don't prefer blondes, Little J. They prefer other gentlemen. Is this just another round of blanks fired between B and Little J? I'm tired of being the bearer of bad grudges. This is the last item that goes to press without proof.
Isabel: I am so glad Gossip Girl finally got her balls back.
Penelope: Yeah, she was totally turning into the new Page Six.
Blair: Dan Humphrey. Just who I hate to admit I was looking for. You're dirty.
Dan: What are you talking about?
Blair: Cheating, drinking, drugs. It's all fair game. But outing your sister's boyfriend is dark. How did Squeaky Clean Humphrey even come up with that?
Lily: Really Rufus, what were you thinking? You threw her a surprise birthday party and had her face painted on the cake with a tiara?
Rufus: Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lily: Yeah well so did flannel and acid washed jeans, but they weren't flattering either.
Blair: Whoever said that money doesn't buy happiness didn't know where to shop.
Asher: You're Jenny Humphrey. From Brooklyn. You need status, access, resources. I give that to you.
Jenny: What do I give you?
Asher: Do we really need to talk about this?
Jenny: Yeah. Yeah, we do. So what was on Gossip Girl's true.
Asher: Do you really think someone like me would just date someone like you?
Jenny: You've been so nice.
Asher: And I'll keep being nice. Nothing has to change, okay?
Blair: It was once said that a person's eyes are windows into their soul. That was before people had cell phones
Gossip Girl: Breaking News: Asher Hornsby overheard bragging that Little J swiped her V card at his register. Didn't anyone teach you, Little J? You shouldn't give away the ending if you want him to pick up the book again.
Jenny: You think you're so different and so good. Well guess what, Dan. The minute you start sending tips to Gossip Girl you're in the game with the rest of us.
Blair: Watch and learn, Ladies. The most important parties to attend are the ones you're not invited to.
Gossip Girl: Weekend Update: A same-sex kiss hasn't caused this much controversy since Britney and Madonna. Looks like Little J didn't spread her legs after all. She spread lies instead. Asher is gay and I have the correspondence to prove it.
Penelope: Dating a gay guy is an honest mistake, but lying to your friends about sex is unforgivable.
Isabel: To think, I almost asked you to wear a matching dress tonight.
Penelope: You're branded with the "L" Word. Liar.
Lily: Well, since you're being so honest I'm going to try as well. I'm scared. Life is tough enough as it is, you know? I want the best for you. And, um, I'm worried for your safety. And your happiness.
Eric: I have a better chance of being happy if I'm honest.
Lily: I know that. And I want you to know that love is whoever you're with. Because it's pretty great.
Blair: My my. If it isn't Little J, risen from the ashes.
Jenny: I came to tell you in person: you win.
Blair: Sweetie, we just started to play.
Rufus: Angry. Shames. Trust. Girl. Something you want to talk about?
Dan: Who would have thought Scrabble would be so therapeutic.
Vanessa (about Jenny):Give her a break, Asher is her first love.
Dan: It's infatuation, it's not love.
Georgina:Yeah, but to a fifteen-year-old girl, I mean, there really isn't much of a difference.
Jenny(to Eric): Oh my God, wait, do you have a crush on me or something? Don't be embarrassed, it's totally understandable, and not that unexpected actually. I'm flattered, it's just, my heart belongs to Asher. I've gotta go, but text me, okay?
Blair(to Serena): We're sisters. You're my family. What is you, is me. There's nothing you could ever say to make me let go. I love you.
Gossip Girl: Spotted, Jenny Humphrey wading in the Met fountain fishing for change. Blair Waldorf seen dallying with an off-duty doorman at the Blarney Stone on a Monday night. It looks like the battle between the Queen B. and Little J. has moved from the streets to the blogs. Who's sending this debasing dish? I have a feeling...
- Taylor Momsen as Jenny Humphrey
- Kristen Bell as Gossip Girl
- Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen
- Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey
- Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey
- Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
- Jessica Szohr as Vanessa Abrams
- Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass
- Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald
- Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
Special Guest Stars Edit
- Yin Chang as Nelly Yuki
- Dreama Walker as Hazel Williams
- Jesse Swenson as Asher Hornsby
Recurring Stars Edit
- Michelle Trachtenberg as Georgina Sparks
- Connor Paolo as Eric van der Woodsen
- Nicole Fiscella as Isabel Coates
- Amanda Setton as Penelope Shafai
- "Good To Be Alive" by Joey Sykes
- "Cheap & Cheerful" by The Kills
- "Sonata for Violin and Piano No. 5 in F Major, Op. 24 - "Spring": I. Allegro" by Beethoven
- "Say (All I Need)" by OneRepublic
- "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven
- "U.R.A. Fever" by The Kills
- "Shut Up & Let Me Go" by The Ting Tings
- The episode was watched by 2.12 million viewers, and it's the least watched episode of the series to be aired in 2008.
Cultural References Edit
- Britney & Madonna's Kiss - Gossip Girl references the times Britney Spears and Madonna kissed on stage
- Brooke Astor - Blair nicknames Jenny after this person.She was an American philanthropist, socialite, and writer
- Eliot Spitzer - Lily says to keep him seated as far away from Serena as possible. He is the New York governor.
- GAP - Eric mentions this american clothing retailer company
- Katie Holmes - Blair mentions this american actress when she says Jenny will become the next version of her
- L.L Bean - Jenny mentions Dan's pants from this online retailer company
- Louis Vuitton - Blair mentions this designer brand
- Mark Ingram -Lily tries on a bracelet from this wedding atelier
- Not For Tourists - Georgina is seen reading this guide book with sights and shopping for people who live in New York City
- Page Six - Penelope mentions this entertainment and news website
- Scrabble - Rufus and Dan play this board game
- Snow White - Georgina nicknames Blair after this disney princess
- Stella Mccartney - Eric mentions this high-end fashion designer
- Tinsley Mortimer - Blair mentions this american socialite and TV personality
- Vanessa Hudgens - Hazel mentions this american actress
- 151 - Blair offers to have drinks at this Lower East Side bar with her friends
- Cannes - Asher's parents are on vacation here, which is a city in France
- Portland - Vanessa says to Georgina,"You can click your heels all you want but you're not in Portland anymore." Portland is the largest city in Oregon
- The Blarney Store - An irish cafe in New York that Blair was at.
- Waverly Restaurant - Blair offers to have dinner here with her friends
Food & Drink Edit
- Fruit Cup - Blair is seen eating this for breakfast on the MET steps
- Red Eye - Vanessa mentions this, which is a nickname for a coffee with espresso