All The Pretty Sources is the eighth episode of the fifth season and 95th overall.
A shower is supposed to make you feel fresh and clean, but on the Upper East Side, they're where I get the most dirt. And B's bridal shower tonight promises to be an absolutely filthy affair. The only two people left off the list? Number one, Chuck. As for number two, in high school, D got left off the list because no one knew who he was, now it's because they know all too well. Looks like Lonely Boy needs to change his name to Banished Boy.
Serena is planning a surprise bridal shower for Blair, but complications set in as Blair begins to feel as if her friends don't care about her. Meanwhile, Chuck and Dan decide to distract themselves from the fact that they didn't make the invite list for Blair's shower. Also, Nate and Serena find a secret about Diana's personal war against Gossip Girl, but struggle over whether to use it or not.
The episode begins with Serena packing gift bags for Blair's bridal shower, Chuck walking Monkey in the park, and Dan having breakfast with Rufus and Lily. Dan reads them the GG blast, and Lily says it's a good thing that they are still talking about him. Dan says that won't be hard, since Inside is off the best sellers list. Lily mentions to Rufus that the caterers and party planners for Blair's shower will begin setting up soon, and that she can't believe she agreed to host a shower she can't even attend. At the Waldorf's, Louis arrives to see Blair now that he's back from his trip. He presents her with a gift, then notices all the gifts on Blair's bed. He asks what they are, and she explains they're thank you gifts for Serena, who she is sure is planning a beautiful shower. Louis is skeptical, and asks how she's so sure it will be perfect. Blair replies that Serena knows her better than anyone, including what she likes. Louis sarcastically remarks that he's sure it will be a lovely party, then follows by saying while he was gone, he started wondering if her friends really have her best interests at heart.
At The Spectator, William has come to see Nate. He says he couldn't be more proud of how far he's come, and Nate introduces him to Diana. She sends him to the graphic department so she can talk to William alone. At the VDW's, Carol calls Ivy. When she answers, she demands why Carol hasn't called her back sooner. She then explains that Max showed up and she's paranoid the truth will come out at any second. Carol informs her that she can't just suddenly leave, as CeCe might get suspicious and cut off access to the trust for good. She threatens Ivy, saying that if she loses the money, she has nothing to lose and she'll out her herself. Back at the Waldorf's, Louis is trying to reason with Blair about distancing herself from her friends. She retorts that he was just away with his family, who hates her, and he replies that it's his family and he has put distance between himself and then. At that moment, a Gossip Girl blast comes in revealing Blair's paternity test. He uses that as a perfect example, but Blair denies that any of her friends sent that it and says Beatrice probably did. Louis says she wouldn't do that right after they made amends, and promises to prove to Blair he's right. Blair tries to talk to Serena, who slams the door in her face saying she has too much work to do. At The Spectator, Diana tells William she doesn't like him showing up out of nowhere. William is angry that he saw a news article about her, and that it only mentions Nate. He informs her that his goal all along was to remake Nate, not to make her a celebrity, and that being the majority investor he has the ability to fire her and put Nate in charge. Diana argues that Nate is talented but nowhere near ready to take over, and asks for another month to make it happen. William says she has three days or she's fired. At The Empire, Dan arrives to ask Chuck if he wants to hang out. Chuck is hesitant until he sees an article on the timeline of Blair and Louis' romance and tells Dan they can hang out. At the VDW's, Lily is directing the set up of the party when Max arrives. He says he's looking for someone named Ivy, and Lily assumes she's with the caterers. He explains that some people might know her as Charlie Rhodes, and shows Lily a GG blast about her. Charlie then enters the room, and Lily asks her to explain. She lies that Carol didn't want her to grow up with the burden of being a Rhodes, so she made her change her name. She says that Carol wanted her to not have to grow up wondering if people were using her for her money. Lily is quick to believe her, saying it's classic Carol. Ivy tells Max that last spring when she said she was visiting her family, she really was. Back at The Spectator, Diana lies to Nate and says the board threatened to fire her unless she starts getting more hits than Gossip Girl. Nate suggest they take down Gossip Girl directly, and calls Eric to ask for his help.
At The Empire, Chuck and Dan are watching movies and eating, smoking, and drinking. Meanwhile, Dan is obsessing over why he wasn't invited to the shower. Chuck says maybe it's his own fault, that he defines himself as an outsider and acts as one. He tells him to become a man of action and leaves to take Monkey on a walk, while leaving Dan alone with prostitutes. Elsewhere, Blair is out shopping with Penelope, Kati, and Jessica. She begs to know any details so she knows what to wear. The girls plant the idea that Serena hasn't had time to plan anything elaborate, and hired a Greek food truck to cater and jeans are okay to wear, at least according to the e-vite. Disappointed, Blair heads off on her own and Penelope texts Serena saying their plan worked to throw Blair off the trail. At the Waldorf's, Serena gets the text and right after gets a phone call from Nate, who tells her to check her email. She does, and finds a list of Gossip Girl's sources. Nate explains that he had Jonathan, Eric's ex, help out since he hacked into her server once. Serena types in her name and a thousand tips she's sent in comes up. She tells Nate not to show anyone, as it could ruin everyone, and especially not to show Diana, who comes in right as he's promising not to. At the same time, Louis enters the room and sees the list, but pretends not to. At the VDW's, Ivy explains to Max that this is what her life is really like, and she apologizes for lying to him. He admits that he thought it was his actions that drove her away, but she promises it wasn't. He asks if she wants to try at a relationship again, but she says no, that she needs time alone after lying for so long. She offers to give him fifty thousand dollars to go back to Portland and start his own restaurant, and she'll come join him as soon as she can. He accepts, and they make a plan to meet the next day so she can give him the money then. On his way out of the apartment, he sees Lily putting photos away. He notices the family shot (taken in The Kids Stay in the Picture), and notices Carol, who Lily points out as Charlie's mom. He recognizes her, and says to Lily that they should be seeing each other again real soon.
At The Spectator, Diana, who has seen the site, tells Nate it's exactly what they need. He says they can't upload it because it's too destructive. Diana decides to look at how many emails he's sent in, but finds none. She realizes Nate really is a good man, and says they don't have to upload the site because she'll figure something else out. Nate leaves the room, and Diana calls someone and says they need to talk. At the VDW's, Lily receives a phone call from Blair. She plays along with the simple party idea, and adds on that the dessert is Hawaiian shaved ice. When she hangs up, Charlie asks if it's mean at all to mess with Blair. Lily says that it's fun because this is probably the only party in Blair's life she won't be in charge of. She asks her if she'll see Max again, but Charlie lies and says he went back to Florida. Charlie apologizes for the whole Ivy thing, and Lily says that she can always be her true self while with them. Meanwhile at his hotel, Max goes through a box of Ivy's things and finds a program for Alice in Wonderland, a production Ivy participated in in Florida, and sees that that Charlie Rhodes and Ivy Dickens are listed as two different people, along with Carol Rhodes. He realizes he was played. At The Empire, Chuck returns home and finds the two prostitutes sitting alone. One explains that Dan kept complaining about Serena and when he mentioned a shower, they got in but he never joined. By the time they got out, he was long gone. At the Waldorf's, Louis logs into Serena's computer and is surprised by Blair, who admits that he was right and her friends might not have her best interests in mind. She says that maybe the distance he mentioned is already there and he agrees. When Blair goes downstairs to call the car around, he uploads the Gossip Girl Source site to The Spectator.
However, Blair realizes she was wrong when she arrives at the shower and finds it's an elegant party based off her favorite movie, Breakfast at Tiffany's. Even Louis has to admit it's a very Blair party, and everyone receives the blast that everyone can now access Gossip Girl sources. Serena gives an emotionally loaded speech on how grateful she is to have Blair as her best friend, and also announces at the end that all the women at the party will receive a box and one will include a diamond ring. After the speech, she says to Blair's minions that she hoped they didn't mind her joke about them and they say they were too busy reading sources. Serena assumes Nate and Diana uploaded the site. Downstairs, a drunken Dan gets in the elevator and announces he's crashing the party because he needs to become a man of action. Serena calls Nate and says she told him not to upload the site, and Nate denies doing it. Nate assumes Diana uploaded the site behinds his back and heads to the office to deal with it. At the shower, Louis sees Chuck arrive and confronts him. Chuck explains he's looking for Dan, who is crashing the event. At The Spectator, William and Diana are having a meeting. She says Nate is a good and mature man, and he inspired her to start a war with William. She informs him that she didn't upload the site, and is willing to fight for the paper and for Nate, who comes in at that moment.
Back at the shower, Blair is annoyed no one is paying attention to her. Penelope shows her the website. For crowd control, Serena tells everyone to open the ring boxes. Charlie opens her box and finds the ring inside, but then sees Max aside. He informs her that he knows the truth, that she is not the real Charlie Rhodes. Dan finds Blair and demands to know why he wasn't invited. Chuck the shows up, and Blair becomes mad that people are crashing. She then finds Serena and demands to know why she uploaded the site. Serena says she was in no way responsible, and that Diana did it, and the only ones who saw were her, Diana, Nate, and Louis. Blair then realizes Louis was the one who did it. Back at The Spectator, Nate demands to know what is going on. William lies and says Diana asked her to meet her there and he's as in the dark as Nate. Diana says that she did call William to see if maybe he wanted to invest, then admits to Nate that she uploaded the site. William jumps in and says he'll invest, so long as Diana resigns. She says it's what's best for the paper, and says she'll start collecting her things. Back at the VDW's, Max tells Ivy he knows she was lying after he found the program. She replies that she can still get him the money, if he stays away from her and her family. He agrees, but asks for insurance. She gives him the ring she just won as a down payment and he leaves. Elsewhere, Chuck finds Dan and asks why he antagonized Blair at her own party. He continues that it wasn't until he saw Dan confront Blair that he realized what the problem was: that he's in love with her. Dan denies it, but Chuck says that it doesn't matter anyway, that she chose Louis. He finishes by saying at least Dan isn't outside alone anymore.
At the shower, Blair confronts Louis about posting the page. He says he needed to show her once and for all how toxic her friends are. Blair retorts that he could have shown her at home, and that it was more important for him to prove his point then it was for them to have a good shower. Louis says he knows she saw Chuck at Sleep No More, and Blair says it was Beatrice who sent the paternity blast. She admits that the problem isn't caused be her friends, but by their relationship. She tells him to leave because she needs time alone to think about the future of their relationship. After everyone's gone, Serena and Blair sit and talk. Blair admits that she knew deep down Serena didn't do it, and that she thinks Louis is self destructing and taking their relationship down with him. She makes Serena promise not to tell anyone Louis uploaded the page. Serena mentions Chuck, and Blair is annoyed he crashed the shower. Serena explains that he was trying to stop Dan, who was the one trying to ruin things. At The Spectator, Nate vents to William that he can't believe Diana went behind his back. William says now that he's investing, he's making Nate editor in chief, and they leave. Meanwhile, Serena arrives home and finds Max waiting in the foyer. He apologizes for standing her up, and says he wants a second chance. Serena says she forgives him, and that he has one more chance. While leaving The Spectator, Diana is on the phone with William. She says the only reason she fell on her sword was to protect her secret, and William says he's well aware. However, she also reminds him that if anyone finds out her secret, they also find out what William is hiding. She leaves, while looking longingly at The Spectator building and flag. Elsewhere, Max leaves a message for Ivy, saying he's staying longer than planned and says he wants five hundred thousand to keep quiet. At The Empire, Chuck lays Dan down on the couch and is surprised when Blair shows up. She admits she knows he really has been good the whole time, and not lying like she thought.
Main Cast Edit
- Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
- Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
- Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey
- Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald
- Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass
- Kaylee DeFer as Charlie Rhodes/Ivy Dickens
- Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen
- Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey
Recurring/Guest Cast Edit
- Nan Zhang as Kati Farkas
- Amanda Setton as Penelope Shafai
- Alice Callahan as Jessica Leitenberg
- Elizabeth Hurley as Diana Payne
- James Naughton as William van der Bilt
- Brian J. Smith as Max Harding
- Hugo Becker as Louis Grimaldi
- Up Up Up by Givers
- Two Cousins by Slow Club
- The Bad in Each Other by Feist
- Swell Window by Zee Avi
- Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye (feat Kimbra)
Chuck (on Monkey to the two girls): He's trained to go after fake Prada.
Blair (after hearing a knock at her door): Who is it?
Louis: Someone completely undeserving of your love and affection.
Carol (to Ivy): If the money stops, I have nothing to lose. And I'll make sure whatever happens to me happens to you too.
Dan: I thought you could help me overhaul my own image.
Chuck: Are you willing to get a haircut and change your clothes?
Chuck: Then I'm not sure what I can do.
Chuck: Something I learned early on, never watch a Clockwork Orange while you're stoned. It takes your mind places it has no business going.
Blair (upon finding out what her shower may be like): Oh my god. If you'll excuse me, I've got to go kill myself. Or max out my credit card. Whichever comes first.
Diana (to Nate): You really are a good, honest man, aren't you?
Serena: I have to say how lucky I am to have Blair Waldorf as my best friend. I may be the maid of honor, but the true honor is just knowing you, B. There is simply no one like her, no matter how hard some of you try. Congratulations to the beautiful bride. You have become the strong, confident princess I always knew you would. I love you so much, and I wish you and your prince nothing but happiness.
Diana: I called you here because I saw a side of your grandson I hadn't fully seen before.
William: And here I thought you'd seen every side of him.
Chuck (to Dan): Let's be clear. I told you to get some ass, not make one of yourself.