Father and the Bride is the 12th episode of fifth season and the 99th episode overall.
Hey Upper East Sider, it's me, Gossip Girl. I'm hoping you're interested in some quid pro quo, because we both have something to prove.
Blair prepares to celebrate her upcoming royal wedding with a bachelorette party, but others scheme behind her back to make this a night to remember. After discovering the truth behind Chuck and Blair's car accident, Nate joins forces with a surprising ally to gather the evidence. Serena and Dan pretend to be dating again to protect someone close to them.
The episode begins with Nate explaining to Chuck that he's gone through every article The Spectator has posted and nothing warrants someone wanting to hurt him. Chuck asks about possibly partnering with Gossip Girl but Nate says she'll only help if he helps her, and he's not sure what she means. He adds that not having her around is really nice, and Chuck replies that without her, he has no idea what Blair is doing or where she is. He tells Nate that he has to find out why she cut him out of her life and that he has her doorman on retainer for surveillance. After Chuck leaves, Nate texts Gossip Girl to ask what she had in mind. At the Waldorf's, Blair tells Beatrice during their breakfast together that she's officially one of the bridesmaids in the wedding. Blair also invites her to her bachelorette party that evening. Beatrice is excited about the idea of attending an American bachelorette party, but Blair explains that Serena planned a dinner at Le Charlot and then to the St. Regis for drinks. She then leaves to meet with Father Smythe.
Outside, Dan and Serena are walking around Madison Avenue to bring attention to their fake relationship. Dan asks when they're supposed to go to The Spectator to launch her daily column and Serena answers that Nate bought cab ads and he wants her photographed outside the office when it launches. She continues that her first column is about how Gossip Girl ruined her relationships and how they're flourishing now that she's gone. Dan says that the publicity is helping his career as well because Simon & Schuster moved up his new book meeting. At church, Blair goes to confession and confides to Father Smythe that she closed an elevator door on a woman. She then says that her dreams at night aren't about Louis, but about Chuck. She explains that once she becomes princess, she'll fire Father Cavalia and then make sure Father Smythe becomes her advisor so he can be with her at all times for guidance. Once she leaves, it's revealed Father Cavalia was actually conducting the confession and pretending to be Father Smythe. At The Spectator, Nate calls Chuck, who is following Blair. He sends Chuck a picture of Max, Ivy's ex, on the day of the accident carrying an envelope full of cash leaving The Empire. Chuck offers to have the hotel security pulled. After they hang up, Nate gets an email from Gossip Girl telling him it's his turn to do a favor. Back inside the church, Beatrice meets with Father Cavalia. He confirms that Blair is planning to replace him as soon as she becomes princess, but isn't worried as she won't ever become princess. He instructs Beatrice to get Blair drunk at her party, and if they don't stop the wedding, she will lose him. He explains that she's still in love with Chuck and if Beatrice can get her drunk and alone with Chuck, they can show Louis Blair isn't faithful. Elsewhere outside, Dan and Serena arrive at The Spectator to find Lily and Rufus outside. Rufus hails a cab with Serena's ad on it and Dan brings the page up on a tablet. A photographer goes to take a picture of her when he realizes the page is blank. Upstairs, it's shown Nate deleted the page at Gossip Girl's request.
Serena goes upstairs to confront Nate about the article. Nate lies that the marketing team said awareness was too low and she'll be the first to know when he decides they're ready to launch. Outside, Dan and Alessandra are heading to his Simon & Schuster meeting. She admits that she's worried that his relationship with Serena may be damaging to the meeting, and that it will make the publishers just want him to write a sequel to Inside. Dan agrees and calls Serena to ask her to wait to publish the column. She explains that Nate delayed her column for the time being, but promises to make sure that all references to him will be in the past. Elsewhere, Blair and Beatrice are out to hand pick the macaroons for the party. While outside the store, Beatrice mentions to Blair that she can have macaroons any time, but she only has now to behave wildly for a night. Blair says no, and there's no point in straying from the path she's on. She then spots Chuck and demands to know why he's following her. Chuck replies that he'll follow her anywhere for however long it takes to find out why she cut him off. Beatrice then comes over and escorts Blair away. Blair confesses that maybe it would be better to cut loose anywhere Chuck won't find her and Beatrice agrees to make a new plan. At The Spectator, Serena goes to wait for Nate in his office to discuss the column. She sees an email from Gossip Girl and realizes Nate deleted her column because he was told to, and uploads it anyway. At Dan's Simon & Schuster meeting, he proposes both a western set in the Reconstruction era and one about Manhattan in one hundred years. However, the publisher encourages him to write something related to Inside. One of the reps explains that Serena's column went up recently and there's already over a thousand comments. Confused, Dan explains he was wanting to branch out into different genres but the reps tell him to write what he knows and to keep dating Serena for publicity. At The Spectator, Nate fires Serena for uploading the article. Serena argues that she saw the email from Gossip Girl and that Nate is a liar and a hypocrite. Nate replies that she sent him photographic proof that Tripp was the one who sabotaged his car, and Serena threatens to tell Tripp about Nate setting him up to take the fall and leaves. Nate's assistant, Tina, filmed the whole argument and then sends it to Gossip Girl.
At the Waldorf's, Blair and Beatrice are planning her new party theme. Beatrice promises phallic party favors and alcohol. Blair reminds her that the most important detail is that they go somewhere Chuck can't find them. Beatrice adds it will be a night she will never forget. At The Empire, Father Cavalia arrives to meet Chuck. He plants the seed that Beatrice is worried about the upcoming wedding and they need Chuck's help to stop it. He informs Chuck of Blair's new party location and if they work together, they can accomplish all they want. They head off together. Meanwhile, Blair, Beatrice, Penelope, Jessica, and Kati arrive at Panchito's for the party. They propose a game: Beatrice holds a question and answer set of acts Blair's exes committed and if the girls guess the wrong ex, they take a shot but if they guess right, Blair takes a shot. Blair agrees then realizes Serena isn't there. Beatrice says she forgot to call her and Blair goes off to do so. Serena explains that she has to take care of one last thing before she comes but she'll be there soon. When they hang up, Serena goes downstairs at the Waldorf's and meets Tripp. He thanks her for the heads up, but Serena says she isn't doing it for him, she's doing it because it's the right thing to do. Back at Panchito's, the girls are getting the correct answers to the questions, due to Beatrice texting them the answers, and Blair is getting more and more drunk. She begins to let loose and dance with strangers, while Beatrice texts Father Cavalia that their plan is working. At the Humphrey loft, Rufus is reading Serena's column and tells Dan he thinks it's great. Dan says it's a bad thing because his editor only wants a sequel to Inside now. Rufus tells him that he would understand if Dan was sacrificing his career for real love but since their relationship was fake, it makes no sense. Dan agrees and goes off to find Serena to talk to her about it.
Back at the bar, Blair tells Beatrice that she's having the best time, but she had her doubts about Beatrice, although she now knows they're cut from the same cloth. Beatrice asks why she's marrying Louis if she's not in love with him, and Blair explains that some loves don't work out because they're not meant to be but she does love him. After realizing Blair is speaking from her heart, Beatrice goes to get her some water to help her sober up. Back at the Waldorf's, Tripp denies having anything to do with Nate's almost accident. He says that he heard Maureen call a car to take her to The Empire, and that when she saw William pass him over for Nate, she decided to take action. At that moment, William and Nate emerge from the dining room and Nate mentions it was Serena's idea. Tripp asks what's going on, and Nate says he staged the argument with Serena to bait Tripp into pinning the accident on someone else. William announces that Maureen has an alibi, since she was with him meeting with divorce lawyers. Meanwhile, Chuck arrives at Panchito's with Father Cavalia, who heads into the bar to find Blair. However, Blair then steps outside to get some air. She sends Penelope in to find Beatrice. While waiting, a stranger hands her a joint which Blair puts into her mouth. She's then approached by two police officers. Blair mistakes them for strippers and when she reaches for one of their guns, they arrest her. Dan tries to stop the scene, but they warn him to stay out of it. In the background, everyone begins to take photos. Chuck then steps out of his car and Dan remarks that of course he had to be there. At the jail, once she's released, Blair finds Beatrice and blames her for getting her arrested. Dan defends Beatrice and says it was all Chuck's fault. Blair doesn't believe him, as she set him up to be outside the St. Regis. Dan says he saw him there, and Beatrice asks for a minute to talk with Blair privately.
Back at the Waldorf's, Tripp explains the whole story to Nate, Serena, and William. He says that he met Max, who followed William from Nate's office, and who overheard them argue about William inviting Nate away for the weekend. Because he was so angry, he paid Max to drain the brake fluid from Nate's car, half of the money right then and half when he finished the job. When they met to exchange the second set of money, Max said he did it then left. Tripp then discovered he got played and ended up doing it himself. He reasons that he only wanted Nate to get banged up and never meant for Blair or Nate to be seriously hurt, but that he was jealous William began putting his faith in Nate. Serena then reminds Tripp about their car accident (in The Debarted) and that unlike last time, when he got off scot free, it won't happen again. She then gets a text that Blair was arrested and leaves. At the jail, Beatrice shows Blair that she bought the cell phones off everyone at the bar and if anyone talks, there won't be any proof anything happened. She also returns Blair's tiara to her and the two hug. Back at the Waldorf's, William puts Tripp in a car to turn himself in. However, Nate sort of sides with Tripp and says that William is partly to blame because he's always pitted him and Tripp against each other. William scoffs at the idea of Nate making it on his own and Nate says he already has meetings set up with buyers and will be making him an offer soon. At the jail, Serena arrives and Dan says they're not pressing charges against Blair. Dan then fake breaks up with her so his career isn't hindered, and Serena goes along with it. Blair and Beatrice then come out and Blair explains that she's fine and had a fun evening. Beatrice then excuses herself to take a call from Father Cavalia. He asks her to bring Blair to The Empire, but Beatrice ends the plan, saying she doesn't want to hurt anyone. She finishes by saying she knows he will never leave the church for her and hangs up.
At the loft, Dan is reading Serena's column when he receives a call from her. She says Blair got home safe and is now asleep. Dan says he read her column and it gave him a lump in his throat, as he found it surprisingly real for a fake relationship. Serena almost tells him how she really feels about him when Chuck arrives at the penthouse. She tells him to leave and Chuck says he wasn't responsible for what went down but that he isn't going to stop until he finds out the truth because you don't give up on people you love. The next morning, Serena brings coffee to Blair. She admits that while she was drunk, she found Louis' wedding vows and read them. She admits to Serena that reading the vows was exactly what she needed to go to her wedding sure of her choice, and that Serena doesn't need to keep fake dating Dan. Serena says she's going to the office to take down her column and leaves, but not before opening Blair's curtains. Outside, Father Cavalia punishes Beatrice for deserting their plan. He explains that he told Sophie that Beatrice would benefit from some volunteer work in Africa, and she agreed. Beatrice threatens to reveal that they slept together and that will cause him to be defrocked. Father Cavalia assures her Sophie isn't going to believe her scheming daughter over her royal priest and she walks off. At the loft, Dan receives a call from Serena. She tells him that Blair wants them to keep up their fake relationship until the wedding. Dan hesitantly agrees, as long as it's only until the wedding. Serena suggests they have dinner or go to a movie and Dan says he'll call her later. When they hang up, Dan gets a package. Inside, he finds a copy of The Stranger by Albert Camus along with a note from Louis thanking him for writing his vows. At the church, Father Cavalia welcomes Chuck to the church. He reveals he knows what's really in Blair's heart and if they work together, they can stop the wedding. Chuck agrees to help.
- Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
- Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
- Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey
- Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald
- Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass
- Kaylee DeFer as Ivy Dickens (Credit only as she does not appear in the episode)
- Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen
- Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey
- Nan Zhang as Kati Farkas
- Amanda Setton as Penelope Shafai
- Alice Callahan as Jessica Leitenberg
- Aaron Tveit as Tripp van der Bilt
- James Naughton as William van der Bilt
- Roxane Mesquida as Beatrice Grimaldi
- Marc Menard as Father Cavalia
- This Road is Long by The Lost Patrol
- Cradle (Fang Island Remix) by The Joy Formidable
- Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO (feat. Lauren Bennett and GoonRock)
- Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO
- Brains by Hollywood Holt
- Bells by The Naked and Famous
Nate: Be careful. There's a fine line between surveillance and stalking.
Chuck: Yeah, getting caught.
Blair: I feel the devil on my shoulder.
Father Cavalia: What devil is that?
Blair: Chuck Bass!
Blair (on Father Cavalia): He's the biggest snake in Christianity since the one that bit Eve.
Chuck: Blair was inside a church for a half an hour.
Nate: You didn't follow her inside, did you?
Chuck: Of course not, I didn't want to risk blowing my cover. Or bursting into flames.
Blair (to Chuck): What are you doing here? And don't say shopping for velour sweatpants, you're following me!
Beatrice: Why are you marrying my brother when I know you're not in love with him?
Blair: I do love him. There might be some loves that seem bigger than others or more complicated or harder to let go of, but there's a reason they're not meant to be.
Beatrice: You cannot choose who you love.
Blair: But you can choose how you love them. And there are some people you can only love by not being with them.
Stranger (referring to a lighter): Hey bridey, got a match?
Blair: Two. And that's the problem.
Blair: DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M GOING TO BE THE PRINCESS OF MONACO!
Police Officer: Yeah, and I'm the king of the sixth precinct.
Blair *throws tiara to crowd*: I LOVE YOU NEW YORK!
Blair (to Beatrice): YOU ROYAL BITCH! You paid that girl to give me a joint and tipped off the police that I was outside with it because you wanted to humiliate me in the eyes of the world! What's next? Photoshopped nude pics, a dead body in my bed??
Tripp (to Nate): I wanted to ruin your weekend. Not your life.
Dan (to Serena): We're Dan and Serena, you can tell me anything.
Chuck (to Serena on Blair): I don't know what it is you think I did tonight but all I care about is her.
Serena: Blair's asleep and even if she wasn't, she wouldn't want to see you anyway.
Chuck: Tell her I came by.. and that I'm not done. That's one thing I've learned from Blair, you don't give up on the people you love.
Blair: I know Louis loves me but sometimes I wonder if he understands me.
- This episode was watched by a series low 1.11 million viewers with a 0.6 rating in the adults 18-49 demographic.
- This episode takes place on Saturday, January 14, 2012, as indicated on Nate's computer when he responds to Gossip Girl's email.
- It's a week before Louis & Blair's wedding as Béatrice said.
- This episode marks the last appearance of Tripp van der Bilt and Beatrice Grimaldi.