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Rhodes to Perdition is the 9th episode of the fifth season and the 96th overall.


On the Upper East Side, staying alive isn't as easy as it appears. And after last week's security breach leading to no new tips, it looks like I might be dancing by myself.

- Gossip Girl

Summary[]

Blair attempts to find out what caused Chuck to become a good man so that she can do the same with Louis. Nate becomes the editor chief of the Spectator and suspects that the story that Maureen is cheating on his cousin Tripp is actually a lie. Carol returns to New York to cover it up for Ivy, who's been blackmailed by Max.

Recap[]

The episode begins with Charlie (Ivy) and Lily discussing the studio 54 party in Cece's honour in the VDW's apartment. Cece then comes in and states that she didn't invite Carol to avoid drama. At the Waldorf's, Serena and Max walk in chatting. He askes Serena to hang out, but she refuses due to her being busy with the party. He then offers to bake a cake for that party, and Serena accepts. At the loft, Rufus comes in to find Dan writing and states that he is happy that Dan is writing again. But Dan quicly reveals he is arguing with negetive reviews about his book, Inside. Rufus tells him that he need to leave Inside behind him and focus on his future. Right after Rufus leaves, Gossip Girl puts out a blast stating that Dan is starting to get hate online and his fans are decreasing.

Back at the Waldorf's, Blair is seen writing thank you notes for her engagement party girts. Meanwhile, she and Dorota talk about Louis' bad actions and Dorota suggests that maybe he "Freaky Friday'ed" with Chuck, as a joke. Blair that says Dorota may have a good idea on how to get Louis to be like his old self again. She then gives the notes to Dorota and leaves. At the Spectator, Nate gives a speech on how he will run things differently than Diana. Afterwards, a woman comes up to him and says she has a story on Tripp and Maureen, about how Maureen is having an affair. Meanwhile, Ivy is seen in a diner with Max. He threatens to tell Serena about her real identity if she doesn't get him 500.000 dollars soon. Ivy then calls Carol and tells her about the situation. Carol tells her to keep Serena away from Max and she will try to get the money from Cece's bank account. At the VDW's, Carol shows up to tell Lily and Cece that she wants to make amends. Cece then allows her to come to the party but with the condition that she doesn't start any drama. At the Waldorf's, Charlie/Ivy tries to convince Serena not to go out with Max. She succeeds and Serena says that she'll reorder the cake and cancel on Max.

At the Empire, Blair shows up and asks Chuck about his recent transformation. Chuck then asks her what she is doing and Blair states that she is trying to find out how he became good so that she can help Louis do the same. At the Spectator, William arrives to talk to Nate about the story about Maureen. Nate says that he is going to publish it as soon as he discovers more and talks to Tripp. William agrees. Back in the VDW's, Charlie/Ivy and Carol talk about needing money for an apartment in front of Cece. Cece sees through this and confronts Carol about always using her for money. Carol then says that she is trying to get close to her daughter, which is something Cece can not understand. After she leaves, Cece falls down on the couch and Charlie/Ivy finds a bottle of pills in her purse. Cece asks her to give her some water, which she does. Meanwhile, Max gets a message from Serena saying that she wants to take a raincheck on the cake, and her cousin and her have a very busy day. He then leaves Charlie/Ivy a message stating that she has 24 hours until he reveals her identity. Max then shows up at the Waldorfs with a cake for the party and tells Serena that he is over his ex. Serena asks him to come with her to the party and present the cake to Cece, but he refuses saying that it would be moving too fast, but he wants to go on a date with her tomorrow. Back at the VDW's, Charlie/Ivy gives Cece ginger tea and asks if she is alright. Cece then asks her why Carol wanted money which she replies that she is the one who did. Cece then tells her that she will give the money tomorrow.

At the Spectator, Nate is meeting with Tripp to tell him about Maureen. Tripp says he and Maureen were really working on their relationship after his affair with Serena. He tells Nate he should run the story and thanks him for telling him about Maureen. He says they are now even. Nate calls his grandfather to tell him he is not going to run the story because he thinks Maureen is lying about the affair.

Blair accompanies Chuck to his therapy appointment to find out how Chuck became a better person. Chuck tells her that he returned the engagement ring he bought her to Harry Winston. Blair leaves for a cake tasting, distressed by the news.

At the VDW's, Carol and Lily confront each other about Carol's parenting of Charlie, including that Carol supposedly forced Charlie to live under the name Ivy Dickens. Serena overhears the conversation, and realizing Charlie is Ivy, calls Max to tell him her party got canceled and they can hang out.

Dan goes searching for the online hater "I Hate Humphrey" and it turns out to be Alessandra. She claims she started the trolling to get him back on the radar.

At the Spectator, Nate meets with his grandfather and they speculate that Maureen is lying about the affair to get Tripp good press so he can run for mayor soon. His grandfather advises Nate to not publish any details or theories about the situation. Nate says he will do the right thing.

At the Waldorf's, Blair is having a cake tasting when Chuck interrupts. He tells her that he returned the ring to move on and allow Blair to have the happy life she deserves. She admits that she has realized she brings out Chuck's dark side and now she thinks she is doing the same to Louis.

At the VDWs, Max arrives on Serena's request. Serena confronts Max and Charlie (Ivy) for their lying, but before anything can be revealed, Cece passes out. Charlie covers for her and says CeCe was dieting to fit into her jumpsuit.

At the Spectator, Nate releases a statement on the website that he is running the Spectator on honesty and integrity, not for the wealthy and well-connected, and not for his family. His grandfather says he loves and respects him.

Chuck tries to convince Blair that she was the lightest thing that ever came into his life. He only turned dark and desperate because he was afraid of losing her. He only wants her to be happy.

Charlie continues her lying about her identity and history as Charlie/Ivy. Charlie claims Max has a compromising tape of her and threatened to release it if he did not pay her. She tried to get Serena to stop seeing him because she was afraid he would do the same to her. Max angrily tries to tell the family that she is Ivy, not Charlie. CeCe tells him she is sure it is Charlie, and Serena tell him to leave or she'll call the police. The family continues their party at the VDWs. Charlie apologizes to Serena and Carol apologizes to Lily, Charlie tells CeCe to tell the truth to her family about her illness.

Dan and Alessandra are at the loft writing comments to each other on social media under their online pseudonyms. They get retweeted by Katy Perry.

Nate and Chuck unwind at the Empire. Chuck realizes he still loves Blair and becoming better and telling the truth was too late.

Dorota tells Blair she will ring Louis immediately if she is ready to call him and tell him how to be good. She says no, she just needs to rest.

Carol and Charlie talk, and Charlie says she would like to stay with the VDWs and their family, and she doesn't care about the money. Carol says if the family knew the truth about the real Charlotte Rhodes, her family would not forgive her. Max calls Charlie and says he is not leaving until he gets justice.

Starring[]

Main Cast[]

Recurring/Guest Cast[]

Trivia[]

  • When Dan is with Alessandra sending hate to himself, he says "I've been at this for a while",
  • Real-life NY baker, Sylvia Weinstock, makes a short-lived appearance during Blair's cake-tasting. She can be seen saying, "I brought some more samples with me. I see the groom is here too", referring to Chuck.
  • The title is based on 2002 movie, Road to Perdition.

Quotes[]

Gossip Girl: On the Upper East Side, staying alive isn't as easy as it appears. And after last week's security breach leading to no new tips, it looks like I might be dancing by myself.


Charlie: I've never seen so much lamé before. Grandma actually wore this?
Lily: Yes. And looked fabulous riding in on an elephant in it. Which is why the Studio 54 anniversary party is in her honor. And Bianca Jagger's, but we won't mention that to her when she arrives.
Cece Rhodes: Bianca was a striver. She could never outshine me no matter how little she wore.


Max: Why would you trust an anonymous baker when you have a master chef in your midst? You could be my sous for the afternoon.
Serena: Could we cover ourselves in flour and lick spoons and do other cute things?
Max: That's a prerequisite.


Rufus: That's it. I stayed quiet while you crashed bridal showers and skipped out of book tours. I was hoping with enough time and support you'd realize that even though your book didn't do as well as you'd hoped, you still had your whole future ahead of you. Being a shut-in is not bouncing back.
Dan: I was defending my honor.
Rufus: It's time to leave Inside behind. And go outside.


Gossip Girl: Looks like I'm not the only one everyone despises. Lonely Boy's fans are slowing dwindling. But his haters are going forth and multiplying.


Blair: Why should I thank someone for a blender? Do I look like the kind of girl who makes margaritas?
Dorota: Oh, margaritas sound delicious. But six months away at least.


Blair: I still love Louis. I just want to marry the sweet Prince who returned my Vivier slipper and made me believe in fairytales, not one of the Brothers Grimm.
Dorota: Even Prince Charming can fall off horse.


Blair: I need this time to figure out what went wrong with Louis and right it.
Dorota: Maybe he Freaky Friday with Mr. Chuck. They struck by lightning at the same time or pee in the same fountain.
Blair: That's incredibly unsanitary.


Carol: Hi. We have a problem.
Charlie: Well add this one to the list. Max is dating Serena. If you don't want me to leave or get caught we have to pay him off immediately.
Carol: Except we don't have the money. I just came from the bank. Turns out my mother's added a security measure to the account—probably to punish me. Any withdrawal over fifty thousand dollars requires her signature.


Gossip Girl: Looks like I'm not the only one doing the hustle.


Blair: Namaste. I'm sorry to interrupt you getting into someone's yoga pants.


Blair: Your transformation really is astounding. Case to share how you gave up your bad Bass ways. How you went from Charlie Sheen to Charlie Brown? Bar to mitzvah?
Chuck: There really is no answer to that question. It's an evolution.
Blair: Hm.
Chuck: What's really going on Blair?
Blair: Okay, if you must know I'm trying to pinpoint the source of your light so I can pull Louis out of the darkness. You changed, so can he. {she sits} I have all day.


Gossip Girl: If you ever find yourself sick with Saturday Night Fever, the last thing you want is someone to turn up the heat.


Nate: Listen, I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you.
Tripp: Yeah, I doubt that. I'm sorry you're enjoying every second of this.
Nate: I know our history isn't exactly pristine, Tripp, but we're still family.


Doctor: And what is it you're searching for, Blair? Blair: Nice try on the bait-and-switch, but I was a teenage bulimic and my father came out when I was fifteen. This isn't my first analysis.


Doctor: Are you saying that you want your fiancé to be more like Chuck?
Blair: No! More like the man Chuck's become. Like Louis used to be when Chuck was like Louis is now.
Doctor: If you don't mind my saying so, you seem confused.


Chuck: But I did let go of you, Blair.
Blair: Then prove it by telling me how!
Chuck: I can't. But if you don't believe me, call on Harry Winston. The night of the Spectator launch, I left the engagement ring I bought you on the doorstep. And walked away.


Gossip Girl: Chaka Khan might have been every woman, but it looks like Charlie Rhodes is about to have trouble being two.


Alessandra: If it makes you feel better, there's a Twitter called HumphreyLove too.
Dan: That's me.
Alessandra: Sorry. I should have recognized your scalpel-sharp deprecation.
Dan: I have over a thousand followers.
Alessandra: Let's hope they bought books.


William van der Bilt: I understand you're upset by Maureen's manipulations, but Tripp was completely in the dark about her antics with that river rescue. I'm sure this is the same now. This isn't a story, it's a family squabble. That could cost your cousin his career.
Nate: I'll do the right thing, don't worry.


Chuck: Doctor Krueger thought you were upset I returned the ring.
Blair: He has too many PhDs. They cancel each other out and make him a moron.
Chuck: I returned it because you asked me to let you go. I wanted to move on to give you a happy life you deserve.
Blair: All this time I've blamed you. For pulling me into the dark. But I was wrong. It was me who brought out your dark side. And now that I'm with Louis I've done the same to him.


Lily: Rufus and I have a small gift for you.
Rufus: Opening night, I tracked it down for you.
Cece: How surprisingly thoughtful. If I had any memory of that night I'm sure it would be fond.


Carol: You're a better actress than I thought. You got more out of her in three minutes than I have in forty-five years.
Charlie: I was just kind to her. You should try it.


Serena: I see you two have found each other. No need for introductions, right Max. And Ivy.
Charlie: Serena, this isn't what it looks like.
Serena: Oh, so you two didn't used to date?
Charlie: We did.
Serena: And you didn't pretend like you've never met?
Max: We did.
Serena: And you didn't try to convince me not to see him again because he may still be hung up on his ex, Ivy?


Gossip Girl: Just when things are about to hit the fan, they hit the ground instead. With a thud.


Charlie: I know what's wrong.
Cece: Yeah, you keep this apartment excessively warm.
Charlie: Just tell them, Grandma. She's been dieting to fit into her jumpsuit. A few martinis and glasses of champagne on an empty stomach and anyone would pass out.


Nate: I told you I'd do the right thing. I'm sorry if we have different versions of what that is.
William van der Bilt: I'm not here to reprimand you. You remind me of myself when I was my age.
Nate: Wait, you're not angry that I alluded to Maureen?
William van der Bilt: You're your own man, Nathaniel. I always loved you, but now I respect you too.


Chuck: You never pulled me to the dark side, Blair.
Blair: I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I have my answer.
Chuck: You're the lightest thing that ever came into my life.


Chuck: I only want you to be happy, I'm just sorry it couldn't be with me.


Cece: Enough! This is my granddaughter Charlie Rhodes. I was there the day she was born, she is my family. I don't need any proof. I know it in my bones.
Serena: You should go before we call the police.
Max: Just remember, I warned all of you.


Gossip Girl: Sister Sledge sang "We are family" but she had nothing on the Rhodes girls.


Cece: Thank you for your discretion earlier.
Charlie: No problem. But you know if you're really sick, I think you should tell the family. They might care more than you think.
Cece: Perhaps. But I appreciate you protecting my secret. We all have them. It's a Rhodes family tradition.


Nate: You still love her, huh?
Chuck: I can't imagine the day I won't.


Gossip Girl: Long after the clubs have closed, disco inferno rages on. For some, it's burning desire that keeps them awake at night.
Dorota: Miss Blair, if you finally find key to bring Mr. Louis back to the castle why you not look like perky self?


Gossip Girl: For others it's the flame of uncertainty that plague them.


Carol: Looks like we're finally in the clear. You can leave anytime you want.
Charlie: Would it be okay with you if I stay?
Carol: You have enough money. You could set yourself up anywhere in the world.
Charlie: It's not about the money for me. In fact, you can have all of it.
Carol: Then what do you want?
Charlie: Family.


Carol: If they ever found out the truth about the real Charlotte Rhodes, they would never forgive me. This way we both get to keep our family.


Charlie: What do you want?
Max: My life back. The move to Los Angeles, the job I gave up at Boulud, the two years I spent believing you and loving you when all you did was lie and cheat so you could have some fancy life that isn't yours. You better watch your back. Because I am not leaving town until I get what I deserve.
Charlie: Good luck with that. No one can touch me anymore. I'm a Rhodes now.


Gossip Girl: If you're going to play with matches make sure you don't leave them around to spark the flame anew. Disco isn't actually dead. And neither am I. XOXO —Gossip Girl


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