Hear those silver bells? It's Christmas time in the city. Some families actually do make the yuletide gay, managing to leave their troubles far away. Other families have a merry little Christmas, even when their troubles aren't so far away. Some presents might end up getting returned. But some gifts are for keeps. Other presents come when you least expect them.And everyone knows the biggest present comes in the smallest box.Then there are those boxes you wish you had never opened. Have a holly jolly Christmas. - Gossip Girl
Blair's father, Harold, comes home for the holidays with an unexpected guest: his boyfriend, Roman. Blair cannot hide her disappointment and makes a plan to get rid of Roman forever. Jenny and Vanessa help Serena get the best Christmas present ever for Dan, who has a surprise of his own for Serena. Then when Chuck texts Blair that Nate is with him in Monaco, Blair worries that Chuck may tell Nate about their hook-up. Meanwhile, Rufus refuses to remain the understanding husband any longer after Alison's former lover calls the house and secrets are revealed.
Memorable Quotes Edit
Rufus: My son, the writer.
Alison: Published writer.
Jenny: Yeah, you got your dream girl and you're star of the New Yorker. Maybe you should just die now.
Dan: It's true. I may have peaked. A lot.
Serena: I noticed the other day that you don't wear a watch. And then it occurred to me it's because you don't have a watch. You're going to need one to be punctual for all the meetings with editors and publishers, now that you're fancy and, apparently, a self-important writer... You don't like it. You want the band changed.
Dan: No! I love the band. I love the whole thing. It's the most amazing watch I've ever seen... but I can't accept this.
Serena: What? Yes, you can. Look, it's more of a gift for me because I had so much fun picking it out for you. You have to.
Dan: Serena, I buy a book for my dad every Christmas. I think the most elaborate gift I've ever given has been a pair of rubber boots from L.L. Bean.
Serena: So, then, I overdid it?
Dan: I think even when you're under-doing it, you're overdoing it.
Serena: I come to you hat in hand, tail between my legs, and off my high horse. I spent the entire day searching for the perfect gift for Dan. Now, all the stores are closing, Christmas day is looming and, I need your help.
Vanessa: I could take this opportunity to gloat, but I actually like you. So, let's get down to business.
Serena: This is your story.
Dan: Its the original. Right out of the spiral notebook.
Serena: I'm kinda scared to read it. What happened on October 8th, 2005?
Dan: I was accidentally invited to a birthday party. Where I met a girl. She only spoke two sentences to me but I've never forgotten her.
Serena: Wait, your story is about me?
Eric: He only has one facial expression. He scares me.
Serena: And he raised Chuck.That scares me.
Lily: Serena, as usual you're being overly dramatic. I'm not marrying Bart. This is very casual. And regardless, I'm not asking your permission.
Dan: How about an antique butter churn?
Serena: Oh my gosh. That would go so well with my loom.
Alison( about Bart): I guess Lily's targeted her next billionaire.
Rufus: Actually I think she's had him in her sights for awhile.
Blair: Roman is a phase. My father belongs here with me. He only left New York to ride out the scandal. Time to come home, don't you think?
Blair: Hey, did you want to ask me something?
Serena: Yes. A gift idea for Dan now that Vanessa got him the most thoughtful, Dan-like present ever.
Blair: Why don't you just buy him a new outfit for Cedric and call it a day?
Roman: Blair.You are still perfection. Delicate yet full with flavour. Like a macaron
Gossip Girl: Spotted skating at Wollman Rink: the Blair Capades. All the grace of Nancy Kerrigan, but packing the punch of a Tonya Harding
Chuck's voicemail: Leave a message and I might listen to it.
Blair: Chuck, you are not answering my calls. To torture me, I am sure. But please, for the love of God, do not tell anybody about us. Okay?
Eleanor: How dare you invite a strange man inside my home?
Roman: Jack came? Go talk to him.
Eleanor: Roman! You practically picked him up off the street.
Roman: And then I googled him. His name is Jack Roth. He owns a prominent hedge fund with offices in London and Barcelona. And he finds you very attractive.
Eleanor: Well that's no excuse. And I am doing just fine without your romantic help.
Roman: Are you? Eleanor, we've been friends for a long time. Before Marc Jacobs went into rehab.
Eleanor: Friends don't steal other friends' husbands.
Blair: It's so nice what you're doing for your friend Dan. Helping his girlfriend make his Christmas present. Serena is so grateful because she likes to see the best in people. Me? I like to see the truth.
Vanessa: Yeah? What's that?
Blair: I think you like Dan a little too much. Just thought I should let you know someone's watching. Merry Christmas
Serena: Mom, anytime you say it'll just be the three of us it means you're dating someone new. Whoever it is, I don't care. I'll just meet him at the wedding.
Lily: Fine. Then I will just tell you who it is because you're going to be seeing him around from now on. It's Bart Bass.
Jenny: You know, when I suggested this plan I didn't know it would entail a robbery.
Dan: Hey.I left a donation. So it was more of a rescue than a robbery. You know, those abandoned trees in that lot were just going to be kindling after Christmas. And this tree we have is going to be loved and admired.
Jenny: You have a real talent for spin, my brother.
Dan: I wish I had more of a talent for heavy lifting
Jenny(about parents): I thought that if I got them under the same roof that things would go back to the way they were. They haven't, have they?
Dan: I think there's a real possibility that they might split up.
Gossip Girl (about Blair): Looks like Daddy's little girl isn't sugar and spice and everything nice after all.
Harold: I can't believe that Blair would do something so cruel. And to Roman, who's only ever been completely kind to her.
Eleanor: It isn't Roman Blair's lashing out at, it's you. She was looking forward to spending time with you alone. And then you show up at our doorstep with your lover. Without a word of warning. How did you expect her to react?
Harold: Well I hoped that once we were together that it would work out. I suppose that was pretty naive.
Eleanor: Blair learned scheming from her mother. And unrealistic dreaming from her father. She tries really hard to act all grown up. But don't you be fooled. She's still a little girl. Who needs her daddy.
Blair: Your house in France. It's very nice, Daddy. I'm sure you and Roman will totally enjoy it.
Harold: And so will you. Because this is your room.
Blair: It's beautiful.
Harold: We already decorated it just for you.
Blair: A cat.
Harold: A cat. Named cat. Like in your favorite movie. It was Roman's idea.
Rufus: Hey Lil, you know everything closed on Christmas? The Diners claim to be open 24/7, its false advertising.So, uh, Alison's leaving. She's spending some time alone with the kids. And I seem to have walked all the way from Brooklyn to your doorstep,without a jacket,in the snow. So, what the hell? I miss you. And I have been missing you for a while.
Dan: The arts and crafts were impressive, but how did you manage the real snow?
Serena: I'm well connected.
Dan: This is, without question, the best Christmas ever.
Serena: Ever. In the history of Christmas.
Rufus: I guess by turning our backs on these other people, we thought we could fix ourselves.
Alison: Maybe other people aren't the problem. Maybe we changed.
Blair: There's no room in your life for me anymore.
Harold: Sweetheart, there is always room for you. No matter where I am. No matter who I'm with.
Serena: It's Christmas Eve and I still haven't found a gift for Dan. Now, all the stores are closing and I'm totally screwed. Do you have any idea what you can buy for under fifty dollars these days?
Blair: I don't know. A single entrée in a mid-price restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set? Maybe a pair of Wolfod stockings?
Serena: Oh, stockings! Yes! Great idea for Dan! Blair, please, this is serious.
Blair: I don't know, why don't you buy him a gold clip from Cartier for $49.99. He won't know the difference
Blair: I cannot believe that Daddy decided to stay with Roman, instead of having tea at the Carlyle with me. The ER doctor said he would make a full recovery.Everything is ruined.
Eleanor: What makes you say that? You and I had a marvellous time.
Blair: Well, I'm sorry, Mother. It's just not the same. I don't understand how that French fox stole my father and your husband, and always seems to come off like an innocent lamb.
Blair: I can't believe you're okay with this.
Eleanor: Who said I am okay with this? What am I supposed to do? Make a scene? Behave like some pathetic, scorned wife? No!
Blair: Roman doesn't even know how to ice skate. Can't you escort him out of the park on the way to your meeting? Maybe drop him off at a nail salon...
- Taylor Momsen as Jenny Humphrey
- Kristen Bell as Gossip Girl
- Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen
- Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey
- Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey
- Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
- Jessica Szohr as Vanessa Abrams
- Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass
- Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald
- Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
Special Guest Stars Edit
- Robert John Burke as Bart Bass
- Margaret Colin as Eleanor Waldorf
- Susan Misner as Alison Humphrey
- Connor Paolo as Eric van der Woodsen
- John Shea as Harold Waldorf
- Jessica Szohr as Vanessa Abrams
- Zuzanna Szadkowski as Dorota Kishlovsky
- William Abadie as Roman
Cultural References Edit
- Breakfast at Tiffany's - Harold references this movie when he says to Blair,"A Cat named Cat, just like in your favourite movie."
- Cartier - Blair tells Serena to get Dan a gold clip from this company
- Catherine Deneuve - Roman says that Blair looks like a brunette version of this french actress
- eBay - Vanessa asks Dan,"You're not autographing those and selling them on eBay are you?".
- Ebenezer Scrooge - Blair nicknames a taxi driver this after the taxi ignores her call for a ride. This fictional character is from Charles Dickens Novella " A Christmas Carol". He is portrayed as a mean-hearted person.
- GAP - Serena says that she once modelled for this clothing company
- Hercules - Jenny mentions this god when she says to Dan," Who's going to turn you into Herucles so you can carry this thing by yourself?"
- L.L Bean - Dan says that the most elaborate gift he's ever given is a pair of rubber boots from L.L Bean, which is an online retailer company
- Nancy Kerrigan - Gossip Girl compares Blair's iceskating graces to this famous former figure skater.
- Marc Jacobs - Roman says that he's been friends with Eleanor since this famous designer went into rehab
- Montblanc - Serena found a high-end fountain pen for Dan from this jeweller store
- The 400 Blows - Serena found an original italian poster of this 1959 film
- The New Yorker - Vanessa hands Dan this newspaper, and he reads a letter inside saying that they would like to publish his short story in the summer fiction issue.
- The Nutcracker - The van der Woodsen's are going to see this famous play on boxing day
- Tonya Harding - Gossip girl compares Blair to this famous former figure skater
- The Oscars - Dan says to Vanessa that he can't top her christmas present unless he rigs the oscars for one of her documentaries.
- Victoria's Secret- Eleanor announces that she's meeting with the C.E.O of Victoria's Secret.
- Wolford - Blair says that you can get a pair of $50 stockings from this lingerie company
- Anguilla - Lily lies to Rufus and says that she's flying to this island in the Caribbean with Bart
- Florida - Dan says,"Who wants chestnuts roasting on an open fire when it feels like Florida?"
- The Carlyle Hotel - Blair is angry that Harold decided to stay with Roman instead of having tea at this hotel with her
- The Pierre, A Taj Hotel - Roman and Harold have a room at this hotel
- Monaco - Bart reveals that Chuck is at his hotel in Monaco,France
- Siberia - Serena places a fur hat on Dan's head, and Dan asks," For when I move to Siberia?".
- Wollman Rink - The Waldorf Family ice-skate at this rink in Grand Central Park
Food & Drink Edit
- Artisanal Cheese - Jenny and Dan research artisanal cheeses online for Serena
- Candy canes - Blair is seen carrying around huge candy canes. She says that her and her father get them every year
- Champagne - Everyone is drinking champagne at Eleanor's Party
- Eggnog - Eleanor tells her guests to have some eggnog
- Macaron - Roman says to Blair," You are still perfection.Delicate, but full of flavour, like a macaron."
- Waffles - On christmas morning, Rufus makes chocolate chip waffles with hot caramel sauce.
- "Santa Baby" by The Constance Billard Choir
- "O Come All Ye Faithful" (Jazzy Instrumental)
- "O Christmas Tree" by The Plush Interiors
- "Stuck For The Summer" by Two Hours - Traffic
- "Christmas Alphabet" by The McGuire Sisters
- "Christmakwanzakah" by The Dan Band
- "Deck The Halls" by The Republic Tigers
- "Jingle Bells" (Instrumental)
- "Joy To The World" (Instrumental)
- "The General Specific" by Band Of Horses
- "All That I Want" by The Weepies