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The Dark Night

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"In these last hazy days of summer, a few simple tips to beat the heat: 1. Drink plenty of fluids. 2. Stay out of the sun. 3. Limit all physical activity.That is, within reason." - Gossip Girl

Summary Edit

In a humorous twist, Blair questions the lack of passion in her relationship with Marcus, while at the same time Chuck appears to have lost his "passion" for any woman other than Blair. Meanwhile, Nate struggles between his feelings for Vanessa and his more-complicated-by-the-day relationship with Catherine. Jenny risks losing her internship when Eleanor catches Jenny critiquing one of the Eleanor Waldorf designs. Whilst being stuck in a elevator due to the blackout, Dan and Serena talk about their relationship and come to the conclusion that they are totally two different people and that it won't work out for the two.

Memorable Quotes Edit

Serena: I'm sorry, I'm not laughing. It's just so obvious. You're not over Blair. This is your body's way of telling you!

Chuck: I don't have a romantic bone in my body. Least of all that one. But you do raise an interesting idea. Clearly there's some kind of blockage. Perhaps ...

Serena: No!

Chuck: One more go-around, just to clear the pipes.

Serena: You are not using Blair as sexual Drano!


Serena: Why can't you support me?

Blair: Have you two talked about everything? The very real reasons you broke up last year?

Serena: Not completely.

Blair: Well, when you do, if you're still together, then I'll be happy for you. Until then I think you're just fooling yourself.


Rufus (to Vanessa): He's not still reading one of those Dan and Serena should-be-or-shouldn't-be threads is he?


Vanessa: I don't believe this. I kept telling myself you were different than Blair and all the others, but you're just as bad!

Nate: It's not that simple, okay?

Vanessa: Are you sleeping with that woman?

Nate: Yes.

Vanessa: Is that the reason you keep cancelling on me?

Nate: Yes, but...

Vanessa: No, Nate, there are no buts. You lied to me and you're sleeping with some Mrs. Robinson. And while on the Upper East Side that might be totally normal, I didn't sign up for some love triangle with you and somebody's mom!


Blair: But I want you!

Marcus: No Blair. You want my title. The idea of who I am. But you clearly want him. Which makes me a fool. Because I really did want you.I do want you.

Blair: Then show me! I'm not some delicate little flower. Show me!


Gossip Girl: Love may fade with the season, but some friendships are year round. Like you and me! You know you love me.


Chuck: You can't tell me Bertie Wooster is satisfying your needs. Titles aside, a suit of armour makes for a cold bedfellow.

Blair: Not that it's any of your business, but Marcus and I have an amazing sex life.

Chuck: Really? What names does he call you when you make love? Where does he put his hand? Have sex with me.

Blair: What?

Chuck: Just once, that's all I ask.

Blair: You are disgusting and I hate you.

Chuck: Then why are you still holding my hand?


Gossip Girl: Spotted: Lady B acting not so lady-like. Hope you kept the receipt for that tiara, B.


Serena: Who was that?

Chuck: A whiff of the Far East.

Serena: Sometimes I envy you. Wait, what am I saying? You're disgusting.


Blair: Honestly, Catherine, so what? If they wanna be together you can't stop them. Just deal with it.

Catherine: I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Blair: Hot young guy? Aging beauty enjoying her last hurrah before the surgeries start? It's called a cliche.


Dan: I can't believe Nate Archibald is a gigolo.

Vanessa: You can't tell anyone!

Dan: Who? Who would I tell? Except everyone I've ever met.


Marcus: I thought you wanted my help with this party you're hosting.

Blair: A back-to-school party for seniors and my parents. It can wait.

Marcus: But someone could walk in. Dorota.

Blair: So? Did you see Atonement? That scene in the library when they're discovered.

Marcus: Blair, that's not you.

Blair: It's not?

Marcus: You're a delicate little flower. Nothing like that trollop Keira Knightley.


Jenny(about Nate): He only did that to spare you his family drama. Which is even more proof he likes you.

Vanessa: And calling won't look desperate?

Jenny: It might? It will. It will. But in a cute romantic way.


Catherine: What happened to the money I gave you?

Nate: It's gone. But I can pay you back as soon as our accounts are unfrozen.

Catherine: Which won't be until your father gets back from... where was it again? Dominica?

Nate: I told you that in confidence.

Catherine: You told me that in bed.


Serena: Well sooner or later people are going to figure out we're dating. We're not exactly the world's most covert secret couple.

Dan: Yeah, my family's getting curious about my new friend Clyde that keeps calling and calling.


Gossip Girl: Rumour is Nate Archibald has a hidden lady. Careful, N. Secrets don't keep long in this heat.


Serena: Eleanor comes home today. You excited she finally gets to meet Marcus?

Blair: And see why he's so wonderful. It's not often you find a man who's intelligent, sophisticated, has an appreciation for Golden Age Hollywood and is a gentleman to boot. You know he hasn't pressured me about sex once. Once. Not once.


Chuck: So you seen Blair and Lord Fauntleroy recently?

Nate: No. Are you doing okay?

Chuck: I confess I've been a little off my game. But I'm expecting a return to form very soon.


Laurel: Remember the little birds that helped her dress? Remember how they didn't offer their opinion? Try to imagine that you're one of those birds. Can you do that?

Jenny: Yeah.

Laurel: Good. Now fly away.


Nate: So what are your plans? To distract me with Vanessa?

Blair: Yes. What about it?

Nate: It's just as your plans go it's kind of nice.

Blair: A? Don't be offensive. And B. From what I just witnessed if you want to keep her you're going to have to step it up.


Blair: Duchess, it's me. He's bringing her. And for the record, whatever you're planning with Nate? My bedroom floor's off limits.


Nate: So you used my friends for some power play to prove you're the one in control.

Catherine: I don't like sharing my toys, especially if I paid for them.


Starring Edit

Special Guest Stars Edit

Music Edit

  • "Lights Out" by Santogold
  • "Like Knives" by The Fashion
  • "Closer" by Ne-Yo
  • "I Can Feel A Hot One" by Manchester Orchestra
  • "It's A Lot" by The 88

Cultural References Edit

  • Atonement - Blair mentions a scene from this dramatic english movie to Marcus
  • Cinderella - Laurel tells Jenny to act like one of the birds from this disney movie
  • Drano - Serena mentions this company which makes products to clear septic blockages in pipes
  • Keira Knightley - Marcus calls this famous actress a "trollop" compared to Blair
  • Little Lord Fauntleroy - Chuck nicknames Marcus after this fictional lord from children's books
  • Madama Butterfly - Chuck mentions this Japanese opera
  • Ralph Lauren - Catherine says to Nate,"Ralph Lauren adores you", as she helps him put on a suit made by this high-fashion designer

Locations Edit

  • Shanghai - A city in China where Lily and Bart are currently staying
  • The Mercer Hotel - Catherine booked a room in this upscale hotel

Gallery Edit

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