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The Kids Are Not Alright

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The episode opens with Dan and Blair throwing away tickets to a film they both went to over the holidays. Serena comes home and tells Blair that her Christmas trip didn't go well, plus Judge Stevens wasn't around and the case is sealed because it involves a minor. Blair is excited about her upcoming internship with well-known businesswoman, Indra Nooyi and is determined to win her over before the internship deadline in three days. When Serena asks Blair if she's seen Dan, she asks why she would've seen him and Serena admits she doesn't know how Dan feels about her and decides to find out for herself at brunch.

Meanwhile, Chuck returns from New Zealand and tells Nate that Jack is out of the country. He also says that Russell Thorpe [his father's old friend], is in town and he's going to ask him to block the sale of Bass Industries. Nate worries that his dad is not taking his parole seriously. When Chuck goes to visit Russell, he meets a young woman that he assumes to be Russell's assistant. The woman tells Chuck that Russell hasn't arrived to New York from Chicago yet.

When Serena meets Dan and asks him how his break was, Dan answers uncomfortably. Serena also notices that Dan is dressed up and wonders why. Dan tells her that he has an interview for a internship at a literary agency. He is also upset that Serena didn't think about their relationship during her trip, but Serena says that she was focused on getting Ben out of prison. As they head inside for brunch, Lily and Rufus are there, much to Serena's annoyance.

Rufus says that they need to talk, but Serena refuses to and leaves, along with Dan and Eric. While Rufus takes care of the bill, Lily calls Judge Stevens and tells him that he can return to the Ranch. While outside, Dan suggests to Serena that they talk after she admits to being worn out trying to help Ben. Chuck arrives and says that he has a plan to block the sale of Bass Industries and get Ben out of jail. Serena agrees to help Chuck and promises Dan that she'll meet him at Blair's house at 2:00pm so they can go to Dan's interview together.

When Serena and Chuck arrive at the Empire, Chuck has the key to the safe deposit box that Lily has at a bank and he also took Lily's passport. Serena disguises herself as Lily and they are able to gain access to the bank. As they search through Lily's safe deposit box, they find a copy of the forged affidavit.

Meanwhile, Blair is trying to find a way to see Indra Nooyi. When Eleanor suggests that she interns for her, Blair turns her down. Blair later learns that her mother is going to be dressing Indra Nooyi for Russell Thorpe's party later. When Dan arrives at Blair's house to wait for Serena, Blair bets him $10 that he'll miss his interview and Dan bets her another $10 that her scheme to meet Indra Nooyi won't work. Blair tells Eleanor that she wants to intern for her, but Eleanor won't let her dress Indra Nooyi and wants her to dress another client instead. When Eleanor leaves, Blair calls Indra Nooyi's people, telling her that Indra's fitting has been moved up to half an hour.

Dan calls his interviewers that he's stuck in traffic when Serena is late and is devastated to discover that the decision on the internship will be decided today. Meanwhile, Blair takes Indra Nooyi's outfit and heads to her hotel. When Eleanor comes back home, she later discovers Blair's intentions to have an internship with Indra Nooyi. When Blair arrives to Indra's hotel and is able to gain access to her hotel room, she discovers it's empty except for a bare mannequin with a "post-it" note that says, "I know what you did, Mom."

Meanwhile, Chuck asks Lily why she's selling Bass Industries and Lily explains that that the company is in trouble, and a private buyer has come up with a generous offer that would keep Bass Industries intact and save the late Mr. Bass' good name. Chuck comes to the realization that if the deal is messed up, the company will go to the highest bidder which could ruin it. He assumes that Russell Thorpe is the buyer, but Lily insists to Chuck that she's trying to save his dad's legacy. Chuck calls Serena to tell her to put the plan on hold.

As Lily and Rufus get ready for Russell's party, Eric refuses to go. After they leave, the phone rings and Eric picks it up. The concierge explains that Lily's guest, Judge Stevens left a pair of cufflinks in his room when he checked out and Eric is shocked. Meanwhile, Serena arrives in Brooklyn to find Dan. Dan tells her that he missed his interview, and that he'll be going to see James Franco reading short stories because the itinerary agent will be there and Dan wants to impress him. Serena asks to come with so the two can talk to each other.

Eric calls Serena and tells her that Judge Stevens has been hiding out at the Palace. Serena is upset and asks Dan if they can go to Russell Thorpe's party before they go to the book reading. At Russell Thorpe's party, Blair is hiding from Eleanor while Nate is concerned that his dad is there, but he missed a job interview earlier today. Howie tells Nate that he couldn't deal with being a former businessman and now begging a job as a janitor and he needs to remind his former colleagues about how good he is. He promises Nate he'll make him proud, but Nate doesn't believe it.

Chuck discovers the woman he met at Russell Thorpe's office is actually his daughter, Raina, who is the vice-president of her dad's company. Chuck thanks Russell for buying Bass Industries, but Russell tells him that he didn't buy it. He tells Chuck that he was good friends with Chuck's dad until he kicked him out of every business deal and eventually out of New York. Russell tells Chuck that if he bought Bass Industries, he would've dismantled it.

Lily notices that Dan is at the party with Serena. Eric arrives, wearing Judge Stevens' cufflinks. Lily tells Dan to tell Serena to stop her plans because it will destroy their family. When Serena finds Chuck, he is upset that Lily misled him about Russell buying Bass Industries. Chuck tells Serena to give the affidavit to a journalist from the New York Post, who is at the party. Dan finds Serena and tries to convince her to leave with him, but Serena tells him that her mother cannot get away with this and Dan will get another chance for an internship. Dan tells Serena that only Serena has unlimited chances and tells her to decide between leaving with him or carrying on with the plan. Serena tells him she's sorry and gives the envelope to the journalist.

When Eric tells Lily that the envelope that Serena gave to the journalist has a copy of the affidavit in it, the family begins arguing. The journalist approaches them and says that he doesn't have the power to hire Dan. Serena realizes that Dan switched the envelopes. Impressed, Rufus speaks to the journalist about a possible internship for Dan. Lily tells Serena that she could go to jail if Serena continues with her plan, and tells her to trust her when she says that she's handling the situation.

Meanwhile, Blair tells Eleanor that that she needs to handle her own future and doesn't want to follow in her mother's footsteps. Upset, Eleanor fires Blair. When Dan and Blair talk to each other, Blair reveals that she got in a fight with her mom because she doesn't want to be like her. Dan tells Blair that she cares a lot about fashion and that she's an "evil dictator of taste."

Lily reveals to Chuck that the buyer heard about what happened with the family and is pulling out of the deal. Bass Industries will be up for auction much to the disappointment of Chuck. Russell makes an announcement that he and his daughter will be moving to New York and is planning to buy Bass Industries.

At home, Blair apologizes to Eleanor for using her to get an internship with Indra Nooyi. Eleanor understands if Blair doesn't want to follow in her footsteps. Eleanor suggests to Blair that she thinks about joining a high-fashion magazine and agrees to help her out in the morning.

Serena apologizes to Dan about her behavior and Dan says that it's his fault for dropping everything to be with her all the time. Serena suggests if she and Dan are willing to give their relationship another try, it will be "sink or swim." When Dan runs into Blair, Blair asks if Dan's visits will become a habit, but Dan assures her it won't. They later decide to go to a movie together.

When Nate calls Howie, explaining to him that his parole officer doesn't know where he is, Howie tells him that he's at a job interview which Nate doesn't believe. It is revealed that Howie is having a job interview with Russell Thorpe for a possible job with Russell's company. Meanwhile, Rufus tells Lily that he knows that Lily slept with Russell, but Lily insists it was a long time ago. Chuck is at a bar where he meets Raina Thorne. She tells him that Russell is the one who informed the previous buyer about the family's problems so he could get Bass Industries himself. Raina tells him it's about business, but Chuck prefers to stick to pleasure. Raina tells him that she'll be waiting in her car for five minutes before leaving and tells Chuck if she'll go home alone, she won't bring it up again. After Raina leaves, Chuck follows her.

At the end of the episode, Serena goes to the prison to visit Ben, but the guard tells her that Ben's parole was moved up by Judge Stevens and he was released. When Serena asks when it happened, the guard says it happened a few days ago. When Serena leaves, she runs into Ben, who is waiting at the bus stop. She asks Ben if he's available for coffee, and Ben tells her, "I'm free for anything."

Memorable Quotes Edit

Dan: You do know that 'powerful woman' is not actually a career, right?
Blair: And neither is 'Serena van der Woodsen,' but ten bucks says that you'll miss your interview waiting for her, yet again.

Blair: I tried to be Indra Nooyi, and while I admit that choice might have been a bit random, the other choice was to be my mother and I didn't want that.
Dan: Why not? You care about fashion the way that most people care about, well, anything. You used to send girls home from Constance crying for wearing tights as pants.

Blair: Heading home to Brooklyn?
Dan: No, actually. I was gonna catch Monsieur Hulot's Holiday at the Walter Reed. Try to cheer myself up.
Blair: Oh. Well I do enjoy myself some Tati. Although I suppose if you're trying to improve your mood that my coming with you would defeat that purpose.
Dan: It is pretty funny. Even you couldn't kill that much comedy.
Blair: Well I still require you to sit two seats away.
Dan: Works for me. It keeps your paws off my popcorn.

Serena: I don't mean to take you for granted. It's just, if we're being completely honest...
Dan: We are.
Serena: I think that maybe sometimes I test you. You know, I keep thinking that if things get too hard you'll give up on me. But you never do.
Dan: And I never will. If you really need me, ever, I am there.

Serena: I would say I'm sorry about today, but in my head that just sounds inadequate.
Dan: Ah, you don't need to apologize. It's not your fault that I seem to drop everything just to make myself available to you.

Dramatis Personae Edit

Starring Edit

Special Guest Stars Edit

Recurring Stars Edit

Music Edit

  • "Bang Bang Bang" by Mark Ronson & The Business Intl.
  • "Elephants" by Warpaint
  • "For All Your Sins" by The Dig
  • "Ghosts" by The Hundred In The Hands



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