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The Unblairable Lightness of Being is the 18th episode of the third season and the 61st overall.

Up and at em, Upper East Siders. It's time to awake from our slumber and learn the hard truth: that some nightmares don't end when we open our eyes.

-Gossip Girl

Summary Edit

Chuck offers to throw a wedding for a very pregnant Dorota who insists that she and Vanya have a traditional wedding before her parents arrive from Poland and find their daughter pregnant and without a husband. Dorota asks Blair and Chuck to be part of the ceremony and walk her down the aisle while Blair's mother, Eleanor, and her stepfather Cyrus, also step in to help out. Meanwhile, Serena lies to Nate to meet up with Carter Baizen. Also, Rufus discovers that Lily has been lying to him about her whereabouts.

Recap Edit

The episode begins in black and white. Blair awakens in Chuck's bed wearing the dress Jack sent her. Security break in to escort her out, but she begs them not to. They physically remove her and immediately after, Chuck bursts in to find Blair's dress on the floor and the room trashed. He grabs it and starts crying into it. At that moment, both he and Blair wake up in their own beds, revealing it was a dream. Chuck heads right for the bar but discovers it's empty, courtesy of Nate and Serena. They encourage him to fix whatever is going on with him and Blair but he's lost hope in winning her affections back. Serena tells him to not wait too long, and Chuck excuses himself. She tells Nate to talk to Blair while she goes home for breakfast with the family. At the Waldorf's, Dorota is fighting with her parents over the phone while serving Eleanor and Cyrus. She explains that her parents are coming in on Monday, and are unaware she is unmarried and pregnant, and if they knew, they might kidnap her and bring her back to Poland; or disown her. Nate then shows up, and Eleanor sends him up to Blair's room.

Nate finds Blair sitting silently on her bed listening to music. After some coaxing, she tells him that Chuck sold her out to sleep with Jack to get The Empire back. Nate is shocked. Downstairs, Cyrus is eavesdropping on Dorota when Chuck shows up. He hears Dorota yelling and Cyrus fills him in on her situation. Dorota emerges, and explains that she can't just get married at City Hall because weddings need tradition; and the reason her first marriage failed was because of no tradition. She continues that she and Blair have talked about how grand her wedding is supposed to be, and Eleanor agrees that Blair does love weddings. Chuck overhears and thinks on his feet. Soon after, Blair comes downstairs with Nate, thanking him for keeping her secret. She immediately sees Chuck in the foyer and is excitedly told by Dorota that he offered to throw her and Vanya a wedding the next day, and that Chuck said they were back together. Dorota then asks Blair and Chuck to be the happy couple who escort her and Vanya into the chapel, for good luck. Chuck instantly agrees, but Blair says nothing. Outside, Serena is texting Nate that she is almost done with breakfast when she meets up with Carter, who thanks her for coming. Back at the Waldorf's, wedding plans are chaotically underway. Chuck finds a moment to be alone with Blair, and begs for her forgiveness. Blair hears him out, but refuses. Meanwhile, Serena arrives and Nate asks her to help with flowers. A worker comes up and offers her a croissant, which she hungrily takes. Nate notices and asks if Rufus' waffle iron was broken; but she quickly explains she is just anticipating the long day.

At the VDW's, the Humphrey's and Eric have just finished breakfast. Rufus announces that Dorota and Vanya asked for them to host a European Game Night so that's the plan for the day. Jenny agrees to head to the Waldorf's with her sewing machine, and Eric tags along to hopefully see Eliot. Rufus mentions that it's too bad Lily can't make it; and Dan encourages him to call and ask her to come home from Canyon Ranch early. At the Waldorf's, Nate tells Chuck he knows what he did to Blair. Chuck replies that he didn't get the full truth from Blair; and that she left the part out where she went to Jack without knowing about the deal. He then tells Nate that his friend who works at the St. Regis saw Carter at the hotel with Serena that morning. Upstairs, Blair and Serena talk and Blair deducts that this was all Serena's idea. Serena admits to encouraging him to make a gesture, but the wedding was his idea. Blair admits she's slightly jealous of Serena and Nate's relationship, with how light and easy it is. Outside, Nate runs into Carter, who has something for Serena. Carter tells him that he's the only one who knows what Serena really wants, and hands him a package, saying that Serena already knows he's at the St. Regis. Jenny and Eric then walk up and Nate asks if Serena was at breakfast. Eric instantly lies and says yes, but Jenny says no. Upstairs, Cyrus tells Eleanor he found the perfect wedding gift. Jenny then finds Serena and hands her the envelope, saying she got it from Nate who got it from Carter.

At the game night, Vanya explains the rules to the first game; where each person finds a partner and dances with a balloon between them and when the music changes, they get closer. Jenny and Eric pair up, and she promises that she doesn't want to get in the middle of Nate and Serena, she only wants to make sure they're okay. Across the room, a woman attempts to flirt with Chuck but he rejects her and pairs up with Blair. Meanwhile, Nate approaches Serena and they start to dance. She apologizes for not telling him about Carter, and promises nothing happened. Nate argues that the only reason they're even talking about it is because she got caught. Their conversation grows more heated until their balloon pops and Nate walks away. Jenny witnesses the conversation and abandons Eric to follow Nate. Elsewhere, Cyrus announces to Eleanor that he bought Dorota and Vanya an apartment in Queens. Eleanor is less than pleased with the idea, dismissing her as just a maid. Cyrus replies that Dorota practically raised Blair and walks off. Meanwhile, Jenny approaches Nate and convinces him to look in the envelope from Carter, which is still in Serena's bag. She opens it, and they discover a hotel room key to his room. On the dance floor, Dorota and Vanya and Blair and Chuck are the only couples remaining. Blair tells him that he can never fix what happened, and they begin to argue about the events. Frustrated, Blair pops their balloon and tells him the game is over. She walks off to be alone and Dan comes up. He tells her that no matter what is going on, he's sure they can fix it because they're meant for each other. Blair hesitantly agrees and thanks him for the advice. Elsewhere, Rufus calls Canyon Ranch but discovers that Lily isn't - and hasn't - been there.

The next night, Blair is getting dressed for the wedding when Chuck surprises her with a necklace. She tells him that she knows he's right, that they're meant to be; but for all the wrong reasons. She walks out of the room, saying she thought he'd be happy. Outside the VDW's, Dan and Eric leave for the wedding without Rufus; who is still searching for Lily. Upstairs, he calls CeCe and leaves her a message saying he knows they're lying and that they need to talk. At the wedding, Cyrus starts a pre wedding ritual: that the groom must answer certain questions about his bride before they can get married. Meanwhile, Nate and Serena arrive at the wedding and he is still mad at her. He tells her he found the key, and Serena becomes mad she went through her bag. She admits he's helping her found her dad and she was nervous to tell Nate. He asks her to stop seeing him, but she doesn't agree. Up at the wedding, Cyrus asks the final question: what Vanya loves most about Dorota. He gives a long, lovely answer which brings Blair to tears. Cyrus announces the wedding can proceed and asks the happy couple to step forward. Chuck does, but Blair breaks down and says she can't before walking away.

Dorota follows Blair and apologizes for not realizing things were wrong between her and Chuck still. Blair confesses she could barely admit it to herself and didn't want to let Dorota down. She sits Blair down, and explains how lucky she was to come to American and meet the Waldorf's; who are her true family. Blair admits that when she saw how happy she was with Vanya, she realized how unhappy she was. Dorota wishes she finds the right love for her and all she wants is Blair to be happy, and they hug. Unbeknownst to them, Eleanor is listening to the conversation. She interrupts them and tells them that it's time for the wedding to begin. Outside the main room, Serena meets with Carter. He quickly explains that his PI found her father and he's only three hours away by plane. She hesitates for a minute, but then decides to go with him. He tells her there's no time to tell someone where she is and she can call from the car. They leave together, and Jenny sees. Inside, the wedding begins and much to Eric's surprise, Eliot slides up next to him; but he also brought his girlfriend, Chelsea. During the vows, Eleanor whispers to Cyrus that she was wrong: and that Dorota is family.

After the wedding ends, Blair talks to Chuck. She breaks up with him, saying she doesn't like who she has become with him. Elsewhere, Jenny tells Nate that Serena left with Carter. In the limo, Carter and Serena are on their way to the airport. She notices the plane ticket was dated from days ago, and asks him how long he's known where her dad is. He lies at first, then admits he's known for a week. Serena realizes Nate was right all along and orders Carter to get out of the car. She tells him she won't ever need his help again and heads to the airport alone. Back at the wedding, Cyrus and Eleanor present the apartment keys to Dorota and Vanya. They're ecstatic and Eleanor and Dorota thank each other for everything they've done. At the VDW's, CeCe calls Rufus back. She admits that Lily is indeed not with her, but that it's not her place to say where she really is. She hangs up. At the wedding, Blair again thanks Dan for his advice and they begin to dance together. At the bar, Chuck begins flirting with a woman and when Nate questions him, he replies that he's now single and being a play boy is who he is. At a table, Eliot asks Eric to dance; since Chelsea left out of the jealousy she felt over Eliot's obsession with Eric. Meanwhile, Jenny answers Nate's ringing phone. Serena is on the other end, and asks if Nate is around. Jenny, while looking at him, says she doesn't. Serena tells her to pass along the message that she loves him and doesn't want any more secrets, and Jenny promises she will. She then approaches Nate and they start to dance.

Later that night, Serena lands in Palm Beach, Florida and heads to her father's hotel. She knocks and is stunned when instead of her father answering the door.. Lily does.

Starring Edit

Main Cast Edit

Recurring/Guest Cast Edit

Soundtrack Edit

  • Velvet by The Big Pink
  • Midnighter by The Champs
  • Full Moon Kiss by Santina
  • The Sound by Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson
  • Rocking Horse by The Dead Weather
  • Your Love's A Drug by Leighton Meester
  • I Gotta Feeling (Accordian Version) by The Black Eyed Pease

Memorable Quotes Edit

Nate (on Chuck): Whatever he did, I'm sure you could find a suitable punishment for him.

Blair: There is no punishment for what he did.

Nate: You're Blair Waldorf. Punishment is your middle name.

__________________________

Dorota: Every marriage I know fail because wedding has no tradition. Where did you and Mr. Harold get married?

Eleanor: I don't think that's the reason the marriage didn't work out.

__________________________

Chuck: Blair, you and I are magnetic. You can feel it. Our pull is as undeniable as ever.

Blair: It's different this time.

Chuck: It doesn't have to be. I love you. Saying it was hard, but I did and I've never looked back. So now I'm asking you: please do this for me. Please forgive me.

Blair: I'm sorry, I can't.

___________________________

Chuck: I can feel your brain strain, Nathaniel. I don't expect you to understand.

Nate: What's that supposed to mean?

Chuck: You and Serena have it easy. Up until now, your biggest concern is who's hair is shinier.

____________________________

Eleanor (on Dorota): She's just a maid, for goodness sake.

Cyrus: Dorota is family! She practically raised Blair.

_____________________________

Chuck (to Blair): You have to admit.. whatever the prize, together we can't lose.

_____________________________

Dan: Look, Blair, I don't think you're that bad of a person. Maybe not my type but you're not terrible. And whatever it is that happened between you and Chuck, I'm sure you can fix it because if there's a pair meant for one another, it's you two.

Blair: You're absolutely right.. Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck.. who else could love me after what I've become?

_____________________________

Blair: Everything you said last night was true. We do belong together. We're both sick and twisted. If you think about it, we're incredibly fortunate to have even found each other.

Chuck: Blair, I don't want this to be you settling, some sort of consolation-

Blair: We've both his rock bottom, Chuck. But we've hit it together. At least we won't be lonely in hell.

______________________________

Vanya (on Dorota): The thing I love most is how I feel with her. With Dorota, I am best possible version of myself. I have peace in my heart knowing I will be good husband.. good father. I will die proud Russian man very much in love.

______________________________

Dorota: I don't need you to be happy couple, Ms. Blair. I just need you to be happy.

______________________________

Blair: I want what Dorota and Vanya have. Real love. Pure and simple love.

Chuck: You'd be bored within five minutes.

Blair: Better bored than ashamed of myself. I would do anything for you, Chuck, but what if that's wrong? I never thought it was possible to love someone too much but maybe it is. I don't like who I've become with you.

Chuck: Wait, Blair.. don't bail on me. We have to see this through to the end.

Blair: This is the end, Chuck.

_______________________________

Trivia Edit

  • The wedding between Vanya and Dorota is the second wedding on the show between two minor/recurring characters - the first being between Tripp and Maureen van der Bilt in the second season.
  • This episode marks the last appearance of Carter Baizen.
  • One of the songs featured during the wedding reception "Your Love's a Drug" is performed by Leighton Meester.

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